Sources:
- Sharh Riyadus-Saliheen by Ibn ‘Uthaimeen
- Comments of Shaikha Anaheed on the Hadeeth of Kitab ar-Riqaq in Saheeh al-Bukhaari
Abu Sa’eid (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu) narrated that some people from the Ansaar asked Allaah’s Messenger (Salla-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) (to give them something), and he gave to every one of them who asked him until he finished all that he had. When he had spent all that was in his hand, he said to them: “Know that if I have any wealth, I will not withhold it from you (to keep for somebody else); and know that he who refrains from begging others (or doing prohibited deeds), Allaah will make him content and not in need of others; and he who remains patient, Allaah will bestow patience upon him, and he who is satisfied with what he has, Allaah will make him self-sufficient. And there is no gift better and more vast (you may be given) than patience.” [Al-Bukhaari]
Commentary:
– Allaah (Ta’ala) deals with His servants as they deal with Him. If they turn to Him seeking guidance, He will guide them; and if they come closer to Him by one hand span, He will come closer to them by a distance of one arm.
From Allaah’s Actions with His creation is that:
* Whoever seeks chastity (Isti’faaf) and refrains from prohibited deeds,
Allaah (Ta’ala) will make him content;
* Whoever remains patient (Tasabbur) and asks Allaah for Sabr, Allaah
will bestow patience upon him;
* Whoever is satisfied (Istighnaa’), Allaah will make him self-sufficient.
– The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) urges us to Isti’faaf (seek chastity), Istighnaa’ (seek self-suffiency) and to have Sabr (patience).
– This Hadeeth shows the noble character of the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), such that if someone asked him for something and he had it, he would give it to him. It was not known about him that he withheld anything from anyone who asked. Rather, he gave in a way similar to someone who did not fear poverty, and he used to live in his house like the poor, and he would even tie a stone to his stomach out of severe hunger.
He (Salla-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was the most generous and the most courageous among the people. As mentioned above, when all that was in his hand was finished, he told them: “If I had anything, I would not keep it from you.”
First Action: Al-Isti’faaf
Meaning of ‘Effah (Al-Isti’faaf):
Isti’faaf is to refrain from allowing oneself to ask people, or to hint to them with regards to money and so forth. [As stated by al-Qurtubi]
It has two meanings:-
> To refrain from begging people,
> To keep oneself chaste/ guard one’s chastity.
According to the first meaning: Whoever refrains from begging/ asking people, Allaah will recompense him by:
* Making him content,
* Making him not feel in need of others,
* Fulfilling his need (suffice him),
* Protecting his honor (because in asking people there is humiliation).
And if he does not refrain from begging, then dealing with him will be the opposite, such that every time he asks and gets what he wants, another gate of need will be opened for him, i.e. whatever he takes will never suffice him.
So al-Musta’fif is the one who refrains from begging; he is relying on Allaah and not the people. In other words, when he (the Musta’fif) is in need, his heart is attached to Allaah and is turned away from the people, i.e. he is one of the people of Tawheed. Every need he has, he puts it at the gate of Allaah.
However, there are matters which disrupt this dealing, such as the human’s nature of being hasty. For example: if one has a loan, his hastiness in wanting to pay off the debt and his fear of not being able to pay off the debt causes him to beg from the people.
The person could be certain of and feeling at rest towards Allaah, but then the Shaytaan comes and suggests evil thoughts (Waswaas). He (the Shaytaan) is the one who makes him to be hasty; he causes him to lose his patience, to lose his mind, causing him much disturbance. Consequently, that makes him to think of people and to beg and ask them.
Al-Isti’faaf (to refrain from begging people) is ‘Ibaadah (an act of worship), and includes two matters:-
* Not attaching the heart to people
* Attaching the heart to Allaah Alone.
Allaah will recompense him by protecting him (who practices al-Isti’faaf) from asking people and sufficing him.
The Second Meaning: Isti’faaf means guarding one’s chastity (keeping oneself chaste).
1- Whoever would be chaste and modest, Allaah will keep him chaste and modest.
Shaikh Ibn ‘Uthaimeen (Rahimahullaah) said: “Whoever keeps himself chaste by staying away from what is forbidden regarding women, Allaah will help him to be chaste, protect him and protect his family. If a man were to follow his desire with regards to matters related to chastity, he may be doomed. This is because:
- The eyes commit adultery,
- The ears commit adultery,
- The hands commit adultery,
- The legs commit adultery, and then the private parts commit adultery (fornication).
Whoever abstains from the unlawful matters, Allaah will protect him.” [Sharh Riyad-us-Saliheen]
2- Allaah (Ta’ala) commands His servants to keep chaste and avoid unlawful things, especially if one is not able to get married.
Allaah (Ta’ala) says:
وليستعفف الذين لا يجدون نكاحا حتى يغنيهم من فضله
“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allaah enriches them of His Bounty.”
[Surah-an-Nur 24:33]
Shaikh As-Sa’dee (Rahimahullaah) said: “This is a ruling concerning the one who is unable to get married (because of being poor and having no means or he cannot afford to get married, or his guardians refuse to let him get married). Allaah is commanding him to keep himself chaste and refrain from the forbidden matters, and to take the means that help him to refrain from the Haraam. He can do that by staying away from the thoughts that arouse him to commit the unlawful action and by acting upon the following advice of the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam): ‘O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him marry, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting the private parts. Whoever cannot do that, then let him fast, for it is a protection for him.’ [Al-Bukhaari]” [Tayseer al-Kareem]
‘Ikrimah (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu) said: “This (verse) refers to a man who sees a woman and it is as if he feels desire (it arouses his desire); if he has a wife then let him go to her and fulfill his desire with her, and if he doesn’t have a wife, then let him ponder the kingdom of heaven and earth until Allaah grants him a means of livelihood.” [Ibn Katheer]
3- A father offering his daughter in marriage to a righteous man:
Bear in mind, that this is an established matter which is based on the Qur’an and Sunnah.
Evidence from the Qur’an: This is understood from the statement of the righteous man in Surat al-Qasas (28:27), when he said to Musa [Moses (‘Alayhis-salaam)] (interpretation of the meaning):
“He said: ‘I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you, on condition that you serve me for eight years…’”
Al-Qurtubi said: “Here the father offered his daughter in marriage to the man. This was an established custom whereby the righteous man of Madyan offered his daughter in marriage to a righteous man of the children of Israel. As well, ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu) offered his daughter Hafsah (Radia-Allaahu ‘anha) in marriage to Abu Bakr (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu) and to ‘Uthmaan (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu); moreover, there was the woman who offered herself in marriage to the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). So it is good for a man to offer his female relative who is under his care in marriage, and for a woman to offer herself in marriage to a righteous man, following the example of the righteous Salaf. Ibn ‘Umar (Radia-Allaahu’ ‘anhuma) said: “When Hafsah (Radia-Allaahu ‘anha) became single (due to her husband’s death), ‘Umar (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu) said to ‘Uthmaan (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu): ‘If you wish, I will marry Hafsah bint ‘Umar to you.’ This was narrated only by al-Bukhaari, 4005.” [Tafseer al-Qurtubi]
Note: It should be noted that most of what happens nowadays is the result of Haraam (forbidden) actions. This occurs when a woman is attracted to a particular man, and because of having a careless attitude, she sits with him and talks to him. In this way, a person who has evil motives may take advantage of such an opportunity to achieve some aim of his own. So we must beware of this and protect our honor from anything that may besmirch it.
4- The father or Waliyy (guardian/ sponsor) of the girl should not prevent his daughter from marrying a poor person because Allaah is Able to enrich them because of the marriage.
Allaah (Ta’ala) says:
وأنكحوا الأيامى منكم والصالحين من عبادكم وإمائكم إن يكونوا فقراء يغنهم الله من فضله والله واسع عليم.
“And marry those among you who are single (the woman who has no husband and a man who has no wife, regardless of whether they have been married and then separated, or have never been married at all) and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).”
[Surat-an-Nur 24:32]
Shaikh as-Sa’dee (Rahimahullaah) said: “Allaah (Ta’ala) commands the guardians and masters to help those who are under their guardianship, as single men and women, to get married. It is obligatory upon the close (relative) and the sponsor of the orphan to give in wedlock who needs to get married, among those upon whom spending is obligatory. And if they are commanded to marry those who are under their guardianship, then they are more obliged to get themselves married.” [Tayseer al-Kareem]
Ali ibn Abi Talhah reported from Ibn ‘Abbaas (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhuma): “Allaah encouraged them to get married, commanded both free men and servants to get married, and He promised to enrich them.” [At-Tabari-Tafseer Ibn Katheer]
5- It is recorded that Ibn Mas’ood (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu) said: “Seek richness through marriage, for Allaah says (the interpretation of the meaning): ‘If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.’” [At-Tabari]
Abu Hurairah (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu) narrated that Allaah’s Messenger (Salla-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “There are three whom it is a right upon Allaah to help: one who gets married seeking chastity; a slave who makes a contract with his master with the aim of buying his freedom; and the one who fights for the Sake of Allaah.” [Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasaa’i, Ibn Maajah and authenticated by al-Albaani who graded it Hasan in Saheeh al-Jamie’]
Also the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Whoever gives for the Sake of Allaah, withholds for the Sake of Allaah, loves for the Sake of Allaah, hates for the Sake of Allaah and gets married (marries) for the Sake of Allaah, he has indeed perfected his Imaan (faith).” [Reported by al-Haakim and authenticated by al-Albaani who graded it Hasan in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi, 2521]
Commentary:
Whatever a person does, be it his dealings with others, giving a thing to others or withholding it from them, nurturing friendship or harboring hatred towards others, or even tying the knot in wedlock; if all this is not motivated by a selfish end or personal likes and dislikes, but done purely for the Sake of Allaah, then it is a firm proof of the perfection of his faith. [Jamie’ at-Tirmidhi, by Darus-Salam]
Based on the above discussion, one of the means of getting married is to keep oneself chaste and upright, based on the Hadeeth reported by al-Bukhaari: “Whoever would be chaste and modest, Allaah will keep him chaste and modest.”
As for the women, they should maintain their proper Shari’ (Islamic) Hijab and their chastity, and avoid mingling with men according to the previous verse and Hadeeth.
Second Action – Tasabbur (keeping oneself patient):
Whoever shows patience, Allaah will bestow upon him patience.
There is no gift better and more extensive that Allaah bestows upon His slave than patience. This is because if man is patient, he will bear everything; if he is afflicted with adversity, he will show patience and if the Shaytaan whispers to him to do evil or commit a forbidden act, he shows patience and if the Shaytaan tries to prevent him from acting upon the Command of Allaah, he also shows patience.
One holds (restrains) himself from what Allaah has forbidden and shows patience towards his needs and he does not beg the people persistently, i.e. he restrains himself from asking until Allaah provides him with Rizq.
For example, you offer an obligatory prayer, but you have a lot of work to do, so your self tells you to postpone or cancel the voluntary prayer after the obligatory prayer. Now if you hold yourself by reminding yourself how little time it will take to perform the voluntary prayer, its reward will be great – this is Tasabbur (being patient) and Allaah will bestow patience upon you, and you will end up offering this voluntary prayer.
How does Allaah bestow patience?
Allaah will strengthen him, and give him power over his self, such that it (the self) will submit to him (he has control over himself) and help him to bear the burden. So Allaah will be with him and help him attain his request, i.e. Allaah will grant him strength over the distress.
Patience in every matter:
* Patience when dealing with Waswaas (evil whispers), i.e. if the
Shaytaan whispers to him to do evil or prevents him from obeying the
Command of Allaah,
* Patience when dealing with tense situations,
* Patience when receiving harm (adversity),
* Patience when doing good
Allaah will bestow patience on His slave and the slave will be rewarded for being of the patient ones. Allaah will help him overcome his self, i.e. he will not be weak in surrendering himself, until he comes out of the distress as a winner, (i.e. he benefited).
The best favor one is blessed with is patience. Therefore, you see that the patient person is calm and feels at peace; he is at rest, tranquil. Even if he is made to hear what he dislikes and is offended or transgressed against, he does not become angry; he is patient towards what Allaah has afflicted him with, having peace and tranquility in his heart.
Third Action – Al-Istighnaa’ (seeking satisfaction):
Whoever is satisfied, Allaah will make him self-sufficient.
Satisfaction is to be satisfied with what Allaah has granted one, such that he does not covet what is in the hands of the people (extending his eyes towards that which Allaah has given some people of the splendor and enjoyment (pleasure) of the worldly life); Allaah will make him self- sufficient.
How can one practice al-Istighnaa’?
- By enumerating (to himself) Allaah’s enrichment upon him,
- By enumerating Allaah’s Blessings and favors upon him,
- By belittling his need of the worldly things,
- By making himself feel that he can live without these things; that they are not important, (not a big deal; he will not die if he does not get them)
In return Allaah will make him self-sufficient, in no need of these things; he will feel content with what Allaah has granted him. He will feel he does not need these things and no longer has any desire for it (them), and this is self-richness. Allaah enriches him by closing this gate for him.
While the one who asks people and is in need of what they have, his heart will always remain in need and will never be satisfied. And the true richness is self-richness (self-sufficiency) of heart. If the person is satisfied, Allaah (Ta’ala) will enrich him and make him self-honored and away from begging.
So we seek nearness to Allaah by al-Istighnaa’ (satisfaction); not having a desire for it, or feeling any deficiency, but only contentment with whatever Allaah has written for us.
Note: Bear in mind, whatever Allaah has granted you, that is the thing you need; and whatever Allaah has withheld from you, you do not need, and this is only for your good. If the worldly matters (things) come to you, take benefit from them; and if they do not come to you, do not feel that you are in need of them because they might not be good for you.
Conclusion:
All these acts of worship require patience. Therefore, the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “There is no gift better and more extensive (which you may be given) than patience.”
Always feel free to share the khair!
