Role Models

Source: Transcribed from a lecture by Umm Rashed.

Introduction:

All praise is due to Allah, we praise Him and seek His assistance. We ask for His forgiveness and take refuge in Him from the evil within ourselves and from evil of our deeds. He whom Allah guides will never be guided. I bear witness that there is no God but Allah Alone, He has no partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) is His servant and messenger.

I have noticed a very danger trend in our society and thought it best to bring it to you attention. That brings us to the subject that is about role models. Before we look at negative role models I would like to share with you some stories of positive role models them being some of the Prophet’s companions. It is important to hear such stories for a number of reasons. The first: to show us what a Muslim is capable of when he has a strong faith in Allah. The second: that by hearing these stories and others like them we may (InshaAllah) be inspired to try and develop such qualities in our own lives. The third is to try and nurture a sense of pride and love in our hearts for these great heroes of Islam. By loving these heroes we maybe by the mercy of Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala) qualify for a great reward. And just what is that great reward? It is to be with them in paradise. The evidence of this can be found in a hadith narrated by Anas (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu):

‘A man asked the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) about the hour (judgment day) saying, “when will the hour be”? The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “What have you prepared for it ?” The man said “nothing, except that I love Allah and his messenger. ” The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “You will be with those whom you love.” We (the companions) had never been so glad as we were on hearing that saying of the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam)”You will be with those whom you love.” Hence, I love the Prophet, Abu bakr and Omar, and I hope that I will be with them because of my love for them though my deeds are not similar to theirs. In a similar hadith with a small variation it is said that when the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) had asked the man what he had prepared for it, the man became afraid and ashamed and then said “O Allah’s Messenger I haven’t prepared much of siyam (fasting), salaat (prayers) or charitable gifts but I love Allah and His messenger. The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “You will be with those whom you love.”

Subhanallah. This is a reason for us also to rejoice. Surely our deeds are also deficient. So sisters you can see for yourselves the benefits of hearing these stories and others like them. It is not enough just to say with our tongues that we love them. It must come from our hearts. If we don’t know their stories how can we develop sincere love for them? Alhamdulillah it takes a few minutes or a few pages to come to love these special people. So let us go back in time to the battle of Qaadisiyya.

Khansaa:

Here we find Al-Khansaa (Radia-Allaahu ‘anha). Her four sons have just been martyred on the battlefield. She is saying something. What is it? Let us listen…”Praise be to Allah who has blessed me with their killings. Subhanallah…sisters you have to know that before she had embraced Islam, at the time of her brothers death she had said in a verse of poetry,” were it not for the many mourners around me, I would have killed myself.” Allah-u-Akbar. See the patience she displayed. When her brother died she wanted to kill herself. When her four sons died whom we know had been dearer to her, she praised Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala). May Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala)  reward her for her patience. As is mentioned in a hadith narrated by Abu Musa Al Ahari: The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “When a child of a man dies, Allah asks the angels,” Did you take away the apple of his eye?” and they reply,” yes”. Then He asks:” What did my slave say?” They tell Him,” He praised you and said: To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.” Allah says,” Build a house for him in paradise and call it bait al-hamd (the house of praise) (At Tirmidhi, Ahmad and Ibn Hibban). Sisters at any given moment we may be called upon to accept a command of Allah of a decree of Allah both of which require patience, therefore it is important for us to work on the ways and means of strengthening our patience.

Bilal:

How about another hero, Bilal (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu). Here we see him defying his master Umayyah bin Khlaf, saying,”Ahadoon Ahad, Ahadoon Ahad”(He is the Only One, He is the Only One). Despite the burning sand under his back and the heavy stone on his chest. Day after day his master shows no mercy. We can now see his master offering him his freedom on the condition that he would speak well of their Gods, even with only one word. Bilal is refusing and again starts chanting “Ahadoon Ahad, Ahadoon Ahad”(He is One and Only, He is One and Only). Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala) says about his devoted slaves in (Surat Al-Baqarah Verse: 207),

“And of mankind is he who would sell himself, seeking the pleasure of Allah. And Allah is full of kindness to his slaves.”

Do you think that at the time of Bilal’s torture he would ever have envisioned himself being honored by Allah and his messenger by being chosen among all others to be the muazzin of the Muslims. Allah speaks about those whom he has chosen as leaders in (Surah As-Sajdah Verse 24):

“And we appointed, from among them, leaders, giving guidance under our commands, so long as they persevered with patience and continued to have faith in our signs.”

Khabbab:

Imagine, Khabbab (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu). His naked body being dressed in a suit of iron armor. The sun is scorching hot and he has been left in the intense heat. We can see how his skin has been seared and his body has become inert. It appears that all his strength has left him. His captors are now asking him a question, “What do you say about Muhammad?”

He replies, “He is the servant of God and His messenger. He has come with the religion of guidance and truth, to lead us from darkness to light.”

Subhanallah sisters. These stories have not been preserved for us for mere entertainment, they are for us to ponder over and reflect on. Being able to look from the outside in, form the beginning to the end. We can better understand Allah’s great wisdom in His plans that he chooses for his slaves.

Allah says in (Surah Al-Baqarah verse: 216),

“Perhaps you may dislike something and it is good for you, and you may like something and it is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not.”

These are lessons for us so that the next time we are faced with a calamity we will not despair and we will put our trust in Allah’s plan. Knowing that He knows what is best for us.

Allah says in (SurahYusuf  verse:16),

“The decision rests only with Allah. I put my trust in Him alone, and all who should trust only in Him.”

Let me elaborate a little further. When Khabbab was in his youth, he was taken captive and sold into slavery. He must have felt at that time that life was unfair. He is said to have said,”Ater this night of darkness, there must be a dawn.” Little did he know what blessing lied ahead? Surely in his sadness he could have never had imagined something good about his captivity. As the story goes, a lady named Anmar bought Khabbab and places him as an apprentice under one of the local blacksmiths. From there he learned the craft of making swords. Khabbab did not have to wait long before the first rays of light of Islam started to shine. His heart was illuminated and he became one of the first 10 persons to accept Islam. Khabbab did not hide his acceptance of Islam from anyone. Upon hearing of his acceptance of Islam and his refusal to leave it, Um Anmar called upon her brother and his gang who began the torture that would last for days. One of the methods in which he was tortured was to place iron rods in a furnace until they were red-hot, they would then be applied to his head and body. The only recourse from his suffering was to pray. He prayed for the punishment of Um Anmar and her brother. Sisters Khabbab at any time could have chosen to hide his Islam, in order to safeguard his life, but he didn’t, his faith was unwavering. So instead he patiently preserved until Allah gave him a way out.

For Allah says in (Surah At Talaq verse: 2),

“And whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).”

As Allah would decree Um Anmar was said to be afflicted with a terrible illness, which no one had heard of before. She is said to have suffered severe headaches and to have behaved as if she had rabies. Her children sought everywhere for medical help until finally they were told that the only cure was to cauterize her head. This was done. The treatment with a red-hot iron became more terrible than her headaches. Subhanallah… see sisters how Allah responds to the dua of an oppressed person.

Allah says in (Surat Al Bakarah verse: 186),

“And when my slaves as you (O Mohammed) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright.”

How many times have we given up on our dua thinking that for one reason or another Allah is not responding (may Allah forgive us). Where is our faith, and perseverance? Indeed dua is a must; it shows our belief in Allah, that He Alone is able to do all things. By not making dua you may earn Allah’s anger. The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said Allah gets angry with those who do not make dua. We must try to be more consistent with our dua, asking less of people and more from our Lord.

Lets continue with the rest of Khabbabs story, He is said to have lived in Medina among the Ansar in a state of ease and restfulness. He fought alongside the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) in the battles of Badar and Uhod where he had the satisfaction of seeing the brother of Um Anmar killed at the hands of Hamzah (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu). In the last phase of his life, Khabbab was blessed with wealth such as he had never before imagined. He was however known for his generosity. It was said that he would place his money in a part of his house that was known to the poor and needy. Those in need would come and take what they needed without seeking any permission or any questions being asked. In spite of this he was always afraid of his accountability to God. A group of companions related that they visited Khabbab when he was sick and he said: “In this place there are eighty thousand dirhams. By Allah, I have never secured it in any way and I have not barred anyone in need from it.” He wept, “and they asked why he was weeping. “I weep”, He said, “because my companions have passed away and they did not obtain any such reward in this world. I have lived on and acquired this wealth and I fear that this will be the only reward for my deeds. Soon after this he passed away.

“Verily, Allah has purchased of the believers their lives and their properties for (the price) that theirs shall be paradise. They fight in Allah’s cause, so they kill (others) and are killed. It is a promise in truth, which is binding, on Him in the Taurat and the Injil and the Quran. And who is truer to his covenant than Allah.”( Surah at-Taubah 9:11)

It is very easy to see the benefits of hearing the stories of the Prophet’s companions. They were indeed the best of role models after our Prophet. The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam)himself said as narrated in Bukhari,  “The best people are those living in my generation, and those who follow them.”

I would now like to turn our attention to the opposite side of the coin.

Modern role models:

That being the modern day role models of some Muslims and especially our Muslim youth. It is not uncommon to hear young people boating about a certain singer, movie star, model or professional sport car. You can see they trying to imitate the manners and styles of such heedless individuals. It is very sad to see Muslims holding non-believer in great esteem. Although we should not be surprised, this was in fact predicted to happen, our beloved Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) indicated one of the sign of approaching hour would be resemblance and adoption of the etiquette and tradition of non-Islamic cultures.

Narrated Abu Hurairah (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu): The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  “The hour will not come till my followers copy the deed of the previous nations and follow them very closely, span by span, and cubit by cubit.” [Bukhari]

The evidences of this phenomenon can be seen everywhere. Take shopping mall as an example, the clothing that is for sale does not meet the Islamic requirements for women. The styles are clear imitation of the Kuffar. The women themselves appear as the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) mentioned in a hadeeth related by Muslim. In which he said they would appear naked in spite of their being dressed. Another example that is becoming wide spread is the celebrations of Kuffar holidays. It is unfortunate that the issues of such holidays have to be looked at by the majority of Muslims as harmless celebrations. In fact they are very dangerous because of their pagan origins. Imitating the kuffar in such matters constitutes a major sin, which is most probably a form of disbelief that leads to a permanent adobe in the hell fire. Indeed true Muslims are becoming strangers in their own countries. When visiting a local mall a person can easily forget that he is in a so-called Muslim society. When I came to this country 15 years ago, things were quite different. Women did not wear pants, most of them still wore the abaya, men and young boys wore disdashas and you would never have seen all the items that are now being sold for use in Kuffar celebrations. Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala) has warned us in His noble book in (Sura Al-Nisa verse 115):

“And whoever contradicts and opposes the Messenger (Muhammad (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) After the right path has been shown clearly to him, and follows other that the believers way, we shall keep him in the path he has chose, and burn him in the Hell what an evil destination!”

The effects of the Television:

Subhanallah things have changed drastically in such a short period of time. We need to ask ourselves why this has and is happening. We need to identify the source of this influence on our children and society. I personally feel that the media is a large part of the problem. I want now to try and change the focus for a few moments to the issue of the media and specially the T.V., because I feel it is of great importance when it comes to role models. The T.V. is in fact a very powerful tool of Shaitan; with it he has devised very subtle and hidden ways of entering into our homes and spoiling our Aqeedah. Our goals and values are being attacked by foreign ideas and behaviors presented to us through the T.V. Our children are being brainwashed to think that a life of ease and money will bring them happiness. Due to the constant images of luxury people are no longer satisfied with the basics of life. Over and over we are being told that material success will give us the answer to every problem. The message coming to us through the T.V. is as follows: “you only live once so live it up”. Indeed desires are what television is mostly about. And as Muslims we know that they can also be the highways to the hellfire. The overwhelming desires on television tend to shift ones inclination to that which is wrong.

Narrated Abu Hurairah (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu): Allah’s Messenger (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “The (Hell) fire is surrounded by all kinds of desires and passions, while the Paradise is surrounded by all kinds of disliked undesirable things” (Inordinate desires and animalistic passions lead to fire while self control, perseverance, chasitity and all other virtues, and the obedience to Allah and His Messenger lead to the Paradise. What leads to Hell is easy to do while what leads to Paradise is difficult to do). [Bukhari]

On Authority of Abu Muhammad ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhuma) who said: The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “None of you truly believes until his inclination is in accordance with what I have brought” [the Forty Hadith, Ibn Rajab commented and said that this Hadith is weak. Sheikh ibn ‘Uthaimeen said regardless of the authenticity of the Hadith, the meaning of the hadith is correct.]

The life styles of the so-called movie stars and singers give a false impression of a fulfilling and happy life. The truth of the matter is that their lives are full of sorrow, depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, broken marriages, troubled children, loneliness and mental anguish. Their lives are anything but ideal models for our children to aspire. We should also bare in mind that most of the programs have been made by non Muslims for non Muslims who themselves have very distorted religious values, due to the fact that they fail to comprehend the purpose of life. All their physical and mental efforts are used for the attainment of money and in some cases fame. I’m sure the reason that you see such a high suicide rates amongst non-Muslims is because some of them have failed to reach their material aims and therefore fell depressed and lose their spirit. Those who do satisfy their expectations are often left wondering where they went wrong. They soon come to realize that the money they spent their lives running after has not at all made them happy. Such people have sold their souls to worldly desires.

Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala) has mentioned such people in (Surah Al Jaathiya verse: 23),

“Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires) as his ilah (God)? And Allah knowing (him as such), left him astray and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. Who then will guide him after Allah? Will you not then remember?”

A believer however is fully aware of Allah’s existence and Might. He knows why Allah has created him and what his expectations are of him. For this reason, his basic aim in life is to be a servant with whom Allah is pleased. He employs all means to try to reach his goal, and strives to do so. This being the case he comprehends that wealth, social status or good looks are not the means to success. Let us ask ourselves in regard to the T.V. How much of what we watch is helpful to our hereafter? How much is damaging to our faith and is in fact accumulating our sins? How much is just a waste of time, keeping us busy from the remembrance of Allah and doing good deeds? I am not telling you to throw away the T.V. What I am doing is asking you to take a closer look at the benefits as Opposed to the risks. I ask Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala) to guide us to what is best inshaAllah.

Well Known Pop Singer

Coming back now to our topic of role models, I want to take a closer look at one of the so-called icons. He is someone whose name we’ve seen an awful lot in the past and recent headlines. A lot of children consider him to be the coolest. Michael Jackson. You yourself sisters can judge just what type of a role model he is.

1. His career is that of singing and dancing which Allah has warned us about in the Quran in (Surah Luqman verse: 6),

“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (i.e. music, singing, etc.) To mislead (men) from the path of Allah without knowledge, and takes it (the Path of Allah, or the verses of the Quran) by the way of mockery. For such there will be a humiliating torment (in the Hellfire).

2. He wears make up which is in fact imitating women.

3. He has had many cosmetic surgeries to change his looks. We can find in the Quran a reference to such act in (Surah Al Nisa verse:119),

“Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allah. And whoever takes Shaitan (Satan) as a Wali (protector or helper) instead of Allah, has surely suffered a manifest loss.

4. He has a very suspicious lifestyle that includes sleeping in bed with young boys.

5. His life style is one of extreme extravagance and wastefulness, he is said to have his own amusement part on the premises of his home. Allah says about such people,

“Verily, spendthrifts are brothers of the shaitan, and shaitan is ever ungrateful to his Lord.

(Surah Al Israa verse: 27).

6. He has or is planning to have his genes frozen in order to possibly come to life after his death. In other words he thinks that life and death is something in the hands of men, therefore he is denying his Creator.

Just a note: it has not been my intention to slander Mr. Jackson; in fact these are all things that he himself has said publicly. (May Allah save us from his evil …to the path of truth). Mr. Jackson is only one of many so-called icons. My idea here was just to give an example of what type of role models are found outside the boundaries of Islam.

Parents as role models:

Another important source of role models is that of parents. As a general rule the single most important factor in the growth and development of a child is the example of his/her parents. It is therefore important that we d o not send our children conflicting messages. Such as don’t smoke (and yet you smoke), don’t lie (and they hear you lie). By sending such conflicting messages a child will never trust what their parents say.

Allah has warned about such a deed in (Surah Al Saff verse: 3) in which he says,

“Do you enjoin right conduct (on the people) and forget to practice it and most hateful is it in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do.”

In order for us to raise good Muslim children we need from very early on to try and cultivate in them the love and desire to please Allah. In order to do this we must ourselves show them our faith and gear in Allah. We are their teachers and they are our students. If we start teaching them the proper Islamic values at an early age, then inshaAllah in the future every little order will not have to be a battle. Indeed the subject of parenting is very vast. I would however like to relate to you a hadeeth in which our Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Everyone of you is a protector and a guardian of his immediate charge and is responsible for the actions of those people who are committed to his charge. A man is a steward in respect to the family members of his house. A woman is a stewardess in respect to her husband’s house and children.”(Bukhari and Muslim)

Friends as Role Models:

It is our responsibility as parents to try and guide our children to have good friends. We should encourage our children to be involved in relationships with other Muslims who are known for their piety. We must also forbid them from having heedless friends. I realize that this is almost impossible in today’s environment, never the less we have to try. If we have been teaching our children from a young age then they themselves will beware of and avoid sinful people. Unfortunately some of us became Muslims after our children were already out of the formative years, and therefore we now find ourselves in very difficult problems with regards to our children. Al-Hamdulillah. There are many Hadith of this nature, which we can share with our children. As with is non-Muslims we can only convey the message, it is Allah who guides. Let us not forget the valuable tool of Dua. Ask Allah the Almighty to give your children righteous friends and to protect them from evildoers.

Conclusion:

Alhamdulillah, Allah has not left us to ourselves when it comes to role models: In surah Al Ahzab verse: 21,

“Verily you have in the Prophet of Allah a beautiful example to follow for him who hopes in the meeting with Allah and the last day and who remembers Allah much.”

Beside from our beloved Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) we have his companions and his family the people who he loved. The Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) himself said as narrated in Bukhari “The best people are those living in my generation, and those who will follow them.” Indeed the companions should be our examples, role models and heroes, for no where in the annuals of history can we find such dedicated, self sacrificing, up righteous individuals. Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala) has blessed them by choosing them to accompany the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam)on the mission of liberating mankind from paganism and the punishment of the hell fire. (Alhamdulillah) In their lives we see how ordinary people became extraordinary. These great fearless men and women devoted their lives to Allah and to the causes of Islam. At no time were they satisfied with their efforts, even after giving their wealth, health and youth. They always wished to do more. Even in the face of calamities they persevered with patience. Let us not forget the trials, hunger and torture they went through so that you and I would be able to learn the religion of truth.

Allah says in the Quran,

“Among the believers are the men who were true to what they pledged to Allah.” [Surat al-ahzab 33:23]

I ask Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala) to enable us to learn about the lives of the Sahabah and to make our lives resemble theirs. For, as Ibn Taymiyyah (Rahimahullaah) said: “Whoever will read their biography to know  the rewards bestowed by Allah upon them, he will certainly realize that these are the best among humans after the Prophets. Neither has there been anyone like them nor will there be.”